We recently completed short, descriptive paragraphs to meet the guidelines set by Writer's Digest Magazine, Kid's Assignment #64. Writer's Digest challenged us to: "Pretend that you’re an adult with kids of your own, and your son/daughter wants to miss a day of school to attend the coolest sporting event. Write an excuse note to his/her teacher for the missed day of school. Did Bobby’s tight shoes cause a severe toe injury? Did Sally’s dog eat all of her clothes, therefore prompting an emergency shopping spree? Be as creative as possible, but don’t exceed 75 words." Enjoy our humor and imagination!
This project aligned with the following Pennsylvania Academic Standards:
1.1.5 Learning to Read Independently
1.4.5 Types of Writing
1.5.5 Quality of Writing
3.7.5 Technological Devices
Written by Mrs. Dingman's 5th Grade
My daughter Pixie is going to be omitted today. During swim practice her cap was on super tight and now her head is shaped like an hourglass!!!!!! Her pet chinchilla trashed her room and when she saw what happened to her Tinkerbell bed sheets she cried so much that her eyeballs fell out. She was wearing her flip-flops and got blisters that made her toes explode like popcorn. She will return in about three weeks.
Piper couldn’t go to school yesterday because Saturday we went to the beach, and sat under a coconut tree for shade. Piper got hit in the head with a coconut and was knocked unconscious. I took her to the hospital. The doctors said she wouldn’t wake-up for 72 hours. Also, if Piper says things that sound crazy like she went to a baseball game or something, it’s because her medicine makes her wacky. Thank you!
My son Farnarexosplater wasn’t in school yesterday because when he blew his nose with those inexpensive, rough tissues, and his nose hopped off his face and ran away. While Farnarexosplater was chasing his nose Mutant alien zombies assailed him. When we got him to the Hospital the doctor said he had to go to ERR (Enormous Ravioli Room). Then the doctor came out and said he had a disease. That’s why Farnarexosplater was absent yesterday.
My daughter Coral had a bad accident yesterday. While holding thousands of balloons, she flew to the sky! It took us six hours to find her. When we did she was about to be sacrificed to the furious psycho leader of snowflakes, and her psycho snowflake minions. We battled them… it was pretty easy. Then, it was time to fight the leader. She was hard but we beat her. It was a very long day!
My daughter Lilly could not come to school yesterday because her brother was playing with a flame-thrower and the house burned down. No one was hurt, but the gold fish died and Lilly was at the shore burying him. Later Lilly was so upset and we had to get a brand new mansion so Lilly never had the chance to go to school.
My son Bobby-o didn’t come to school February 9, 2020 because of Hulabablues. If you are wondering what the Hulabablues are (because you never heard of them) I’ll tell you. They are when someone turns blue and always sneezes while saying Hulabala. It’s a VERY grave illness. As you can see Bobby-o looks normal. That is because the Hulabablues only last up to 24 hours. Any missed work will be made up right away.
I am sorry my daughter, Brielle didn’t go to school yesterday. Yesterday Brielle’s Dalmation licked the computer screen that evening and when Brielle went on to print her homework she got a virus. She is very feeble, and has a lot of brain loss because of the computer virus. Brielle wasn’t at school because the virus spreads and then everyone got sick. The virus will be gone by tomorrow.
Yesterday, Samantha was absent from school because she was playing at her friend's house the day before. All of a sudden a flying bicycle came, flopped on her pinky finger and a man came sprinting through a hill, tripped over a ladybug and fell on her foot. Due to all this I had to take her to the hospital. This happened but she will not have any casts on. She's a speedy healer!
I am extremely sorry to say that my daughter Lollapalooza is not going to be in school today. All of her eyelashes fell off! It will take me an extremely long time to glue them back on with my Elmer's glue. Lollapalooza woke up in the middle of the pitch-black night and came in my master bedroom. I still have eight billion more eyelashes to do! Wish her luck!
It is my privilege to announce:
Danielle and Casey have each been awarded
an Honorable Mention for their "Excuses, Excuses" stories.
Danielle and Casey will each receive a certificate of achievement, a copy of the latest issue
of Writer's Digest magazine, and a $5 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble bookstore.
Congratulations Danielle and Casey!!